I've begun work again on my life history. It's a chance to write (without having to get on-line), and get nostalgic, although I hope not sappy. My kids have heard a lot of my stories, but not all - so they will just have to shift through the repeats to find anything new ;-)

I'm going through old photographs also, which prompt a lot of stories. Some are ones I wish I could rewrite without being dishonest - some just are better forgotten. However, I have rediscovered how incredibly cute my kids are.

It's a sure sign that I am getting older, I am certain, but it's amazing how much has changed - in our lives, in the world, in fashion (even back then, I was not a much into any kind of clothes other than jeans and t-shirts). The Cold War, racial integration, how women were so different from men (which we ARE, it's just BETTER), sports... wow.

Okay, enough for the night!

Today has been a marvelously unproductive day. My main accomplishment has been separating a roof piece that took me several weeks to put together. Otherwise I have avoided almost everything regarding chores, watching the BBC production of Pride and Prejudice and sighing over Mr. Darcy.

All things are relative after all. I could have to put up with my wicked mother-in-law for 11 days. Well, I don't really have a wicked mother-in-law - just one that stays happily in Oregon and just needs a phone call every Sunday evening.

Today, however, I was involved in an underhanded covert operation - a puppy hand-off. It was executed brilliantly in broad day-light, but has relieved me of the eighteen-hour duty requiring constant survialence (sp?) to keep my carpet slightly less stained.

See? A great day after all! Even with another power outage, and stark realization of my dependency on spider-solitare and fans.

How can I let such tiny, minute pieces of negativism clog up my normally healthy, optomistic vision? These bit are almost beyond number, bu yes, I have to carry a huge bottle of 'spray-away-bad-thoughts', and I have to make certain I refill it at every opportunity (scriptures, prayer, taking to Harmony) - but it DOES work. I just have to remember to spray it.
And right now I am having such a good time. Naps almost any time I want one, time to play with the horses, finish the hay shed (before it officially becomes an item for the Arizona Preservation Society), write goofy things on blogs, and continue to catalog the chronicles of my life (i.e. trying to finally get photos sorted and labeled).
"Count Your Many Blessings" - they are numerous.

I am just feeling like griping right now - and I don't want to dump on my oldest daughter (she is already dealing with a root canal for her three year old), my son's at work, and my other daughter is perfectly oblivious (sp?) to anything outside of her own little world.

I am TIRED WEARY EXHAUSTED WORN-OUT being with someone who is DETERMINED to remain unhappy, upset, irritated and anti-social.

It just came to a head this evening; 'someone' commented that so-and-so actor (who was on television as a supporting actor in something) was 'never going to be anything other than a terrorist' to him because 'he was that in such-and-such program.' I, stupid person that I am, said, "Well, maybe it's time to just let go of that character; just means he was a good actor in that character!" Immediate retort - "I don't have to!"

I know, I know, happiness is a decision - and it's one that I can make on my own. Tonight I just feel like the three hours each evening are like standing right on the edge of a huge black hole, that just tries to suck all the light out of my life.

Thanks, now I feel a little bit better.

There was an incredible talk at General Conference a few years ago by Elder Bedner (Bednar?) about being offended being a CHOICE, not something that is laid on you. And it's a great talk to someone like me who honestly and truly BELIEVES that!
However, I live with someone who does NOT believe that, and tonight got 'insulted' because I didn't take something he was describing 'as seriously as you should have.'
Sigh.
Are we having fun yet?

MOTHERHOOD AT 52

Sleep deprivation is one of the many reasons we should have children at a relatively young age. We can survive on 3-4 hours sleep - might be grumpy, might feel like trash, but we can survive.
At 52, just missing my afternoon nap feels like death!
But since we have a new puppy, it's become a minute-to-minute surveillance - okay, he just work up - rush him outside to pee. Yikes, he might be squatting - rush him outside to poop. Hey, he just ate something... take him outside, quick! Whoops - I missed some signal - let's get the paper towels and OxyClean out again.
At least at night he is sleeping in my husband's bedroom. But I am getting way too old for even DAYS like this.