STRANGER THAN FICTION

Do you ever wonder if life is some sort of charade? I've asked myself too many times, of course after watching something like "The Matrix" late at night, if all of this is simply inside my head. Some elaborate sort of test that saves serious federal funding by managing it entirely inside my little neurons and electrical impulses.... but, then, if it's all just fake, then I probably don't even have neurons to begin with. See, questions like this just lead to other slightly insane views and seem to wander farther and farther from what is... well, at least what I consider reality.

Okay, who started this conversation anyway? And am I aware that I am perfectly capable of ending it?

So I am getting back on this kick of sorta finishing things. There are so many little projects, and ideas, and dealios (is that how you spell that word?). For years and years and years I have always been working full-time, dealing with a growing family, frantic commutes, church responsibilities and somehow trying to fit in those fitness routines and projects and ideas and dealios (I guess I'm stuck with the way I spell it now).

Now I've sorta given up on a lot of the physical fitness things. Especially after having my back seize up for three days straight, and having to still walk with little bitty steps (that's another great word - is that how you spell bitty? Could it be bitti? Bitte? Actually be the French word beittii?), I think right now I'd be happy just to remain upright for a couple hours more.

But I do have a quilt that needs to be put together - I mean, the final put-together border and tie together all the little bits and then MAIL it. I have a whole lot of writing that needs to be written. I do have a horse that needs to be, perhaps not ridden, but at least be comfortable taking walks with me. And I still have a (completely controllable, but still there) longing to finish painting the walls of home almost any other color than the boring beige/slightly yellow/faded with age color that they are right now.

And I finally have the time to do these things. And I am enjoying having the time, even when my back does not want to cooperate and I am going to have to take probably more time than I actually have.

Oh, well, what is life if not the moment. Now somebody PLEASE tell me to SHUT UP.