WHY WOMEN ARE MOTHERS AND MEN ARE NOT

Okay, my husband comes in this evening after walking 'his' greyhound (which is nice, because he normally only walks her in the morning, and I get to take care of her the rest of the day) , and begins to vigorously wash his hands at the sink. I am listening to my second daughter on the phone tell me more details about her day at a fast-food restaurant than I ever wanted to know, and had to wait until she was ready to stop talking before I could question him.

By the time she WAS quiet, Bill had already washed his hands six times (honest, I was counting) - and then stomped off to take a SHOWER - "I still don't feel clean!"

Turns out - the greyhound was, eh, 'unable' to finish her, um, 'elimination', or fully 'complete' her business. Okay, we're all adults here, right? And, more importantly, all MOTHERS (at least the three of us who actually read this silly blog) - let's be frank. SHE COULDN'T GET ALL POOP OUT.

So (at least from my husband's viewpoint) he did THE most disgusting thing that a human being could EVER do - he 'helped' her by, without a sterilized glove, a wipe or a woman (of course) to take over. Turns out the grass she has been grazing on like a cow, er, LINKED her bowel movement together enough that she needed 'help.'

Okay, so ask any woman - or either of you two - what is the worst... bodily function experience that YOU have had to deal with?

Wait, no - forget it, I don't want to know. I just know it was something worse than helping a greyhound have a bowel movement.... right?