STALKING

A crisis of some sort occurs at or around our house whenever a member of the family is leaving. A flat tire, insane weather, animal health... something. Sunday morning, as I was preparing to leave for Phoenix, I heard something. Sounded like a young female voice - screaming something.

Since I don't trust my hearing (and if you knew me, you would not either), I ran inside (another mistake - at 53 years of age and some 50 extra lbs., I should never attempt any faster pace than a brisk walk) and yelled for my husband to come out - QUICKLY.

Now, my husband is great in almost any emergency situations (PMS demanding chocolate ice cream - not so much). He gets into this wonderful 'in-charge' mood, is attentive, and LISTENS to whatever emergency information I have to share (note: the wording here is 'emergency' information - not a normal conversation or anything). He races outside with me, takes note of the possible direction of the voice, and begins to run back into the house to get dressed (he was, at the time, clothed only in his bathrobe and bedroom slippers).

But I shout, "NO, NO, LISTEN!!" I wanted to make certain he was hearing the actual cry that I was - too many times I hear 'voices in the wind' that are simply the mutterings of our mesquite trees or grousing of the yuccas (my hearing really is that bad). We both froze, and then did hear, "GET OFF ME!" from the southeast.

My husband then dashed off, I assumed, to get dressed and get in the car. I ran as far as our fencing would let me in that direction, and was surprised to see (okay, sit down if you aren't already) crouching and running thorough the brush a half-naked adult male with a shotgun.

And yes, it was.

Turned out that a neighbor's youngest daughter was mad about something, and WAS yelling, but no one was around her or bothering her. It required a return phone call to both 911 and the Border Patrol, but I called off the Calvary, my neighbor was very embarrassed, but I left shortly afterwards for my trip.

The image, however, is forever imprinted on my brain. I may need counseling before I can return home.