SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

I hate CNN. I especially hate Wolf Blitzer. Don't take it personally, Wolf, it's simply because you were the face constantly on the television screen during the 'first' Gulf War (which frighteningly brings up the thought, so will there be a 'third" Gulf War, a 'fourth' ...).

And, if anyone remembers back that far, we didn't quite know what we were getting into when Saddam Hussein decided he wanted the beach-front property advertised by Kuwait (something like that). No one had a crystal ball to show that it really would just be six days of actually suspense - everything after that was just clean-up. And no one could tell you if the rumors of Iraq having / using nuclear weapons and other BIG BANG type stuff were true or not - would there suddenly be a mushroom-cloud over the Middle East?

So Laurel and I, whose husbands were partners over there in Saudi Arabia at the start, were GLUED to the CNN channel for those first six days. And more than a little nervous about what was gonna happen.

Wolf, really, you're okay, I just have this association of your face and major stomach upset. Maybe you should think about taking a second job doing Pepto Bismol commercials.

Okay, on with the story.

At my gym is the traditional line of television screens in front of all the treadmills, elliptical, stair-masters, etc. so at the same time you are burning calories, you can also destroy brain cells. Normally you get to watch ESPN, soap operas, and sometimes TV Land's Leave It To Beaver.

But today? CNN. And not just regular CNN, but live, at-the-moment video coverage of somewhere-in-Kentucky in-a-college-building someone-seems-to-be-shooting-a-weapon. "We are here, the campus is in lock-down, and we are talking to *#^#$)%, a student, who's room-mate's fellow cafeteria worker's sister actually HEARD shots being fired in *#&$&*% Hall."

Okay, I have a son in college. It's not Kentucky, and I'm pretty certain that his college was not in lock-down at the moment, but I do NOT want to watch this morbid we-will-be-right-here-when-they-begin-to-begin-to-bring-the-bodies-out.

So I got the remote control, asked permission of the two other gym members who had any possible view of this particular television screen, and changed the station to something with Julia Roberts.

Only to discover that Julia Roberts was starring in "Sleeping With The Enemy." Which to me, is a REALLY creepy movie.

She plays a wife who has her life being completely controlled by her obsessive-abusive husband. She fakes drowning, runs away, and begins a new life in some wonderful home-town in Iowa (imagine town designed by someone from Pacific Palisades, and a unemployed run-away single female being able to rent a huge, beautiful farm house right on Main Street - not incredibly realistic, but very pretty, of course).

And of course meanie Mr. Husband discovers her discarded wedding ring, tracks her down, and tried to kill everyone in the state of Iowa (well, almost).

I exercise for my health, and to de-stress (though arguably at this moment I have the least possible amount of stress of life EVER in my entire life). I don't need to be reminded living with threats of bodily harm to those I love. unless I 'cooperated.'

I left, showered, and went and spent all my spare change at Staples on pretty individual magnets, brightly colored Post-It notes, and my favorite type of pen.

Therapy completed.