CRIME AND MAIL

My daughter has a mailbox. A real one.

Out on her curb. Has the little red flag and everything.

And I thought they were illegal now.

When I was in college (yes, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth), the apartment complexes had those skinny envelope boxes that opened with an annoyingly small key. I quickly found out that (in my complex, at least) my key would also open every third mailbox, but that's another story for another time.

In Germany, our mail came through the American Field Office - sometimes in three days - most often three months - one letter was actually over a year late. But it came into Germany in Heidelberg, routed through our embassy at Koln, where the British picked it up for us and dropped it off at the office where my husband worked.

So no mailboxes at all.

Since then, most places we've lived have a ''panel' of mailboxes, making it less trouble for the mail deliverer. Saving time and gas, I guess. And there are four largish boxes when they can lock up any boxes delivered, and then leave the key for that in your mailbox.

Where I live now, that makes sense. I mean, our roads are bad ("how bad are they, Hope?") they are bad enough that the local newspaper (well, local by 18 miles) refuses to deliver out here.

Our nest of mailboxes alone probably cover 10 square miles. Yes, not acres - heck, I live on 8, but MILES.

No one ever explained to me, growing up, that mailboxes were not your own. We left notes for other people, that's how you got Tupperware invitations out, birthday cards for someone local... then someone told me it's a federal CRIME to put ANYthing in a mailbox.

So either way I'm looking at some serious time in the federal pen, aren't I?