TELEVISIONLESS

I live far enough outside of any city limits that certain markers of American civilization are completely and utterly absent - things like water and sewage pipes, sidewalks, traffic signs, street lights and regular police patrol.

Instead, I have;

- Water from a well, which stops occasionally, mainly because a spider recurrently creates a beautiful little web right between the electrical conduits or something like that and stops the electric pump until one of us crawls in with a flashlight and sweeps it away

- A septic system (which I do not wish to discuss in any detail... ever)

- Dirt roads, which we campaigned for madly in the mistaken belief that it would discourage people from moving out here

- Unmarked intersections which newcomers to the area regularly fly through in the ultimate blind convenience that they have the right-of-way regardless of which direction they are going or coming

- Absolutely no light pollution - except for the glow of Sierra Vista, Bisbee and the Border Patrol station at Naco on the horizon - which, at almost 5,000 feet altitude, make star gazing something that even a city-bred creature such as myself has no choice but to appreciate

- No city police, and the county sheriff on call (which usually takes up to an hour to respond to a call (our county alone is some 6,000 square miles)

- But the Border Patrol will show up within minutes.... as long as it has something to do with an illegal immigrate or a drug drop.

And tonight the only complaint I have is that my satellite (since cable is not available) television has been on the fritz for the last couple of weeks, can't get repaired until Wednesday, and I cannot watch the re-run of "Desperate Housewives" which was on tonight.