MR DARCY LIVES

Do you have someone in your life who excels at walking in at just the wrong time? Knocks loudly on the bathroom door just as you've begun to put on mascara? Interrupts a great phone conversation to tell you what is showing on the Comedy Channel at 10 p.m . tonight? Somehow simply HAS to do their laundry JUST as you've reprogrammed the washer for your shrinkable, non-colorfast knits?

I am a HUGE "Pride and Prejudice" addict. Jane Austin is okay - but P&P is the only book of hers which has me still drooling after reading it some 897 times. I have worn out four paperbacks over the years, and I can quote PAGES of text. I have probably seen every P&P movie and BBC series made in the 20th century - but it's always the book I return to (although Colin Firth is, admittedly, wonderfully distracting).

It would be embarrassing to admit something like this if there weren't multiple groups of other groupies of the exact same caliber as me.

And a movie, "Lost in Austin" (Jemina Rooper and Elliot Cowan) portrays a similar P&P fanatic (Amanda) who gets displaced from modern London into the actual story, switching places with the Elizabeth Bennet character.

It's more faithful to the book than any cinematic adaption I have seen - Lydia and Mr. Collins are TALL, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are droll but not comedic, Charlotte Lucas and Mary really aren't very pretty at all - but Amanda the character from today) obviously has also been raised with the Colin Firth/BBC adaption.

Which is famous for two particular scenes (well, really just one, but I like the two) concerning, er, submersion of Colin Firth in water... and, notably, coming out of the water.

And Amanda, in "Lost in Austen," asks her Mr. Darcy to re-enact the second scene.

Whew - let me catch my breath here - and just mention that Elliot Cowan is MUCH better built that Colin Firth (my apologies, Colin, if you are reading this, I stilll love you). Females don't normally get as hot and bothered as males over visual stimulation (hence why porn is 99.98% directed at men), but I must admit my heartbeat was probably WAY over the rate advised for a 54 year old lady.

SO (back to the opening paragraph here), guess who walks in JUST as I get to this scene in the movie on my faithful DVD player?

Damn.

Great thing is that I could hit replay - repeatedly.