Monday, September 6, 2010

MY HIPPOCAMPUS OR LACK THEREOF


My short-term memory is capable of holding approximately 2.7 seconds of recall - beyond that, nothing.

So I have developed some ridiculous strategies to overcome this in my day-to-day life.

When I take a shower, I ALWAYS shampoo my hair the very first thing - sometimes before I remember to turn the water on.

My numerous medications must be set on in a particular order and placement, and then put BACK into ANOTHER particular order and placement AFTER I have taken them to guarantee that they all are consumed and/or not over consumed.

When I schedule an appointment - medical, church, or completely imaginary with high-ranking nobility - I put in down in a small calendar I try to keep with me, as well as on my cell phone calendar, the wall calendar in the kitchen as well as inform my second daughter who, although learning disabled and restricted in many ways, has the memory of an elephant, and will remind me of the date, time, place as well as question whether she can also get a pizza delivered to her that evening for her efforts.

And I have a practice when I feed the horses - go out, begin the water running into their tank, throw hay over in the corral for the gelding, feed him a handful of the mare's food (which is the only way I can get him into the corral by himself), then shut him up in there by a gate and a strongly tied rope (which soon may need to be replaced by a combination lock - he is getting quite good at undoing the rope with his teeth).

Then I take the mare's food in a bucket into the shed, where she can eat and not give it all up to the greedy gelding. I walk back, turn off the water, and go back in the house for two hours, and then release the gelding to finish what the mare leaves him, and the mare goes in and eats what hay he has left.

It works very well - most of the time.

This evening, I was driven into the shed with the mare by a rainstorm, which rapidly developed into a hailstorm, and kept her and I confined for about half an hour.

So then at eleven o'clock tonight, completely naked and just beginning to run my bath water, I realized I had left the horses' water running outside.

Only because the water pressure was so low.

One advantage of living off a well.

But I think having to redress, walk outside in total and complete darkness, slog through the mud, weeds and random holes grope along the side of the house until I could locate by touch the facet and turn off the water, and then fumble back into the house, completely and totally drenched.

Please please please tell me that this is not normal behaviour for most women in their mid-50's.

And if is not, I may see if I can begin my own reality show.

1 comments:

Lisa said...

I will watch your reality show when it premiers. Do you think we could get Liam Neeson to host it?

I guess our blogs haven't been speaking to each other? Because I haven't seen your last several posts!! They are great.