EGG-SUCKING

An "egg-sucking dog" is one of those hillbilly expressions that I accepted as 'something yucky' without knowing what it refers to.

Now I know.

Sofi is a snoring overweight chocolate Labrador from the local animal shelter. Living three miles from an extremely volatile international border (at least according to every political candidate running on the "secure-the-border" theme down here), I feel slightly more comfortable with an indoor animal of, er, substance around - the greyhound is faster than the wind, but she also is an anorexic slip of a dog that slips away if a mouse challenges her.

But any animal needs some time to adjust to a household. Pandora, aka Master-Of-The-Known-Universe, is not your everyday feline, and it took more than a few seconds for Sofi to recognize and bow to his superiority.

Somehow, the bathroom is off-limits to Sofi, which I am enjoying a great deal - Murray would never request a need for privacy - "I can lick my balls in front of you, why can't you pee when I'm trying to push my snout between your legs?"

However, Sofi is incredibly well house-trained - to the point of where she will let herself become  VERY uncomfortable before she asks to be let outside.

But - back to the egg-sucking.

Yesterday my group of teenagers at church had decided to take plates of cookies and treats to several households. And in anticipation of 14 and 15 year-old girls forgetting to bring the assigned goodies, I baked some brownies and cookies Wednesday morning.

And then left my house to go work out (yeah, I get to the gym maybe, what, once a week now?), so I left some cooking supplies out - like the cookie sheets, and the eggs.

PLEASE NOTE - the eggs were INSIDE the stupid foam container they are sold in, on the counter, when I left/

And I came home to - yes, you guessed it - EGGS broken, chomped on, scattered over (of course) NOT the kitchen linoleum (where it could be easily mopped up) BUT the carpet - which, thankfully, has already been stained far beyond any reasonable amount by numerous cats, dogs, one very temporary snake, and klutzy humans such as myself.

But the scariest news of all (and I am quoting directly from  http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Passion-of-an-Egg-Sucking-Dog&id=4375334) is "it's too hard to drown an egg sucking dog, just haul 'em over to Somerville County and turn them out. It's probably where they come from anyhow."

Have I forced upon my poor fat dog an addiction that will never leave? Is there a support group such as ESCAPE (Egg Sucking Canines And Potential Enablers)?