A PRISTINE MOMENT IN TIME

There was a perfect moment released for me yesterday.

I was doing the extremely pedestrian task of taking the trash out when I recognized it.

Blue blue sky with soft white clouds floating lazily. Lofty, luxurious green green grass, dotted with daisies of purple, yellow and white. Mesquite thorns masked by tickling branches and filled with singing birds. The Huachuca Mountains on one side, the Mules and San Pedros on the other, verdant from the recent monsoon rains.

A dog patiently following me - the mare following my every move, and the silliest of geldings whinnying in anticipation of an early dinner of hay,

And just to add to it? An empty house to return to.

Am I the only person in the world who actually relishes solitude? I know fully well that part of it is simply my way of dealing with my reality, but I do honestly enjoy time by myself.

Well, as long as I have the Internet, of course.

KICKING YOU IN THE TEETH

My daughter just told me she's gonna have to pull her little boy's tooth out tonight - it is literally hanging by a bit of skin.

Why are teeth always a problem?

I mean, most of us are born gum-less, and really, we could survive like that. At least with a blender in the house.

But teeth grow in, normally PAINFULLY and slowly.

We have to learn to brush and floss them.

Then just when we are dealing with pubescent bodies and hormones, our parents pay thousands of dollars to have metal slapped on our teeth and tightened every month for a couple of years, keeping us in pain constantly by the constriction and the continual griping by our parents of the cost.

So finally, teeth straight, into adulthood, keep brushing and flossing.

But now instead of cavities, things like gingivitis, receding gums and teeth recrossing begin.

And so instead of coming in, the same teeth you grew, corrected, brushed and whitened - well, then begin to come out.

So Colin - you and I are in the same boat... for at least the moment.

MY HIPPOCAMPUS OR LACK THEREOF

My short-term memory is capable of holding approximately 2.7 seconds of recall - beyond that, nothing.

So I have developed some ridiculous strategies to overcome this in my day-to-day life.

When I take a shower, I ALWAYS shampoo my hair the very first thing - sometimes before I remember to turn the water on.

My numerous medications must be set on in a particular order and placement, and then put BACK into ANOTHER particular order and placement AFTER I have taken them to guarantee that they all are consumed and/or not over consumed.

When I schedule an appointment - medical, church, or completely imaginary with high-ranking nobility - I put in down in a small calendar I try to keep with me, as well as on my cell phone calendar, the wall calendar in the kitchen as well as inform my second daughter who, although learning disabled and restricted in many ways, has the memory of an elephant, and will remind me of the date, time, place as well as question whether she can also get a pizza delivered to her that evening for her efforts.

And I have a practice when I feed the horses - go out, begin the water running into their tank, throw hay over in the corral for the gelding, feed him a handful of the mare's food (which is the only way I can get him into the corral by himself), then shut him up in there by a gate and a strongly tied rope (which soon may need to be replaced by a combination lock - he is getting quite good at undoing the rope with his teeth).

Then I take the mare's food in a bucket into the shed, where she can eat and not give it all up to the greedy gelding. I walk back, turn off the water, and go back in the house for two hours, and then release the gelding to finish what the mare leaves him, and the mare goes in and eats what hay he has left.

It works very well - most of the time.

This evening, I was driven into the shed with the mare by a rainstorm, which rapidly developed into a hailstorm, and kept her and I confined for about half an hour.

So then at eleven o'clock tonight, completely naked and just beginning to run my bath water, I realized I had left the horses' water running outside.

Only because the water pressure was so low.

One advantage of living off a well.

But I think having to redress, walk outside in total and complete darkness, slog through the mud, weeds and random holes grope along the side of the house until I could locate by touch the facet and turn off the water, and then fumble back into the house, completely and totally drenched.

Please please please tell me that this is not normal behaviour for most women in their mid-50's.

And if is not, I may see if I can begin my own reality show.

WHEN YOU CANNOT WRITE ANYTHING BECAUSE A DOG IS ASLEEP IN YOUR LAP BUT YOU CAN DOWNLOAD PICTURES

SO IT'S NOT JUST THE CARAVAN MAN

I love doing things that I love doing again.

Does that make sense?

It may be a security thing - you know, like when you feel out of control with your life, you hang on desperately to the few things you feel like you can control.

But if I really love a movie, I usually love it the 18th time I see it.

When I love a book, I might as well purchase the hard-cover, because I will wear it out (you do NOT want to know how many copies of Pride and Prejudice I have worn out).

So right now I am watching "While You Were Sleeping" for the billionth time.

And there are a couple of classic lines.

"When I told my mother I was getting married to my wife, her intestines exploded. You tell them the truth now, well, you may as shoot grandma."

"He would get these far-off looks in his eyes and he would say 'Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan'. I just wish I'd realized at the time, he was talking about MY life."

"I'd say that she gets under your skin as soon as you meet her. She drives you so nuts you don't know whether to hug her or, or just really arm wrestle her. She would go all the way to Europe just to get a stamp in her passport. I don't know if that amounts to insanity, or just being really, really... likable."

"No, that's not it."

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to... "

"I object."

'I didn't get to that part yet."

"I would have to object too."

"What about you?"

"I'm thinking."

"$45 for a Christmas tree and they don't deliver? You order $10 worth of chow mien from Mr. Wong they bring it to your door."

"Is she all right?"

"She has a little heart problem - she's had three attacks already."

"They weren't attacks, they were episodes!"

"Nothing wrong with her hearing."

"It's just... I never met anyone I could laugh with."

MENTAL ILLNESS OR LOVE?

I'm not certain, but I may be falling in love.

A Chihuahua must be the most irritating animal in the entire universe. Wait. Perhaps something bigger than the universe.

They are little, and yappy, and spastic and ANNOYING ankle-nippers.

And the ONLY reason I offered to dog-sit this weekend was that I simply felt SORRY for someone who was already going to be dealing with four kids under the age of six for a four-day weekend with a three-plus hour drive each way.

So Thursday afternoon I stopped by her house, loaded a crate with a little three lb. version of a brown RAT as well as a tiny bucket of miniature dog food, two chew toys and a partially disintegrated disgusting blanket that actually is what this dog literally BURROWS INTO to go to sleep.

Now it is Friday evening, and this same irritating tiny canine is curled up in my lap, snoring in the tinyest voice you can imagine as I attempt to type without waking him up.

Okay, yeah, I do think it is love.

THERE IS A WHIRLPOOL FORMING RIGHT HERE

I have a operational dishwasher once again. Hallelujah.

I have lived before without a CLOTHES washer (worse reality was with a newborn). I have lived without running water (only hours at a time, thank goodness). I am tough enough to have our air conditioning off during July (hurrah for Arizona winds!) - I have hung laundry on a line.

 

So I have regarded a dishwasher as an unnecessary luxury - a machine just to heat water to a higher temperature and sterilize your plates.

But right now? In August? In Arizona?

No - it is an essential piece of remaining alive.

Because when you are still dealing with 90 degree inside the house during the day, I can think of a thousand things I would rather than do than have my hands soaking in hot dishwasher - can't you?

And I'm also more than a little ticked because the greyhound broke it.

Stretches the imagination just a bit, doesn't it?

But the dishwasher was open, she came racing through the kitchen, and fell on the door, CRASH SMASH BROKEN.

So she just cost me $300.

Do you think maybe I should put her back on the track for just ONE more race and see if I can make it back?