PILES AND PILES AND PILES

Papers obviously have an incredibly energetic albeit private sex life. One day you file a manila folder with a few documents in it and then voila - the next time you take them out, there are 40-50 additional sheets of usually unrelated papers.

What, you mean this might be my fault for not filing properly!? How dare you!

It's difficult for me to get organized at home the way I do when I have an office. At work I literally attack files first and foremost; before anything gets even TOUCHED, the filing is done.

And when I begin a new job, the files are the first thing I organize - by general topic, by date, alphabetically, whatever way works - and then cross-reference between, so even a complete stranger could take over my job and find what they needed to find.

However, at home... somehow I just can't get into like that. I keep random articles, forms, official notifications loosely in folders, but even when I set aside two days (yesterday and the day before, in this case) to get all the old files out, re-organize, clear and put them all in a logical, professional manner....

It just doesn't work.

So I figure I've got a couple of options.

1: Someone who randomly reads this blog feels an overhwelming pang of sympathy, perhaps as a fellow home-file-blunderer or founder of the A.A.C.F.E. (American Association of Closet File Executioners) sends me a money-order for $200,328.84 to inspire me to finally, actually clean up my home files in a professional manner (oh, hell, it was worth a shot) or

2: I feel silly enough after confessing all this that tomorrow I get up, take a shower, put on make-up, dress in a manner suitable for an office staff (even to include nylons - YUCK), drive my truck twice around the block (which for me will be a drive of three miles) to pretend that I am actually going to work, then walk in my house in my fantasy and hit the files as I really would if I was at a job.

Or 3: I sleep in tomorrow, and when I come out, I just stuff the loose files back in the same drawers and try again another year.

Hmmm... as of 22:42 hours tonight, #3 looks the most likely, doesn't it?