ACCEPT REALITY AS IT IS

I have spent years, literally years, beating myself up about something I haven't done, did do, shouldn't have, should have , could have, couldn't have or forgot.

And I am discovering after fifty-some odd years ('and believe you me, they have been very odd years!" in a Groucho Marx voice), what a total and complete waste of time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete fatalist. I think you should try, you should plan, you should do you best.

But if it's in the future, and you have no power over it, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

If it's the past, LET IT GO.

I have regained 2.8 years just in the last two weeks, and have spent that recouped time trying in vain to beat Harmony's score at Bejeweled Blitz.

And failing miserably.

FLOCCINAUCINIHILPILIFICATION

Words are just neat.

I freely acknowledge that if I had not been born in an English-speaking country, I would find English incredibly cumbersome, illogical, and unwieldy.

Because it is.

When I was young, there was a movement/attempt towards creating an international language of "Esperanza " - based on Spanish and English, but designed to be simple, logical and easy.

It didn't seem to get very far (do you know anyone who speaks Esperanza?), and I probably am the only person who remembers it - because Esperanza is my name in Spanish.


Some words have always been extra cool to me - like antidisestablishmentarianism. My brother taught that to me when I was real little, supposedly as the longest word in the English language.

There is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilcovolanconiosis - but it was invented just to be longer than antidisestablishmentarianism, and isn't found in most dictionaries.

And there is a protein's name that is longer - but Windows Explorer shuts down every time I try to cut and paste it into this blog.

But the word that is both pretty long and is incorporated in just about every aspect of my life is anthorpomorphism. That's attributing human characteristics to non-human things.

Like seeing a person's facial outline in a mountain range - the outline of a lion in a taco - and things like naming your car.

I didn't realize for a long time that not everyone does this. I mean, every single car I have ever owned has had a name. Charlie, Mac, Grey Ghost, Blue Goose, and right now I am driving Blanco (who is actually Blanca, but doesn't like having a girl's name. Even though she is a girl).

But when driving back from Phoenix this week, I asked my friend who drove us up what her car's name was - and she, get this, had never even thought about naming ANY of her cars.

Please, please, people, tell me that you name your cars. That's I'm not the only one in the world.

Oh, and the title word? Means "the act of establishing as worthless."

Fits this blog perfectly, doesn't it?

PILES AND PILES AND PILES

Papers obviously have an incredibly energetic albeit private sex life. One day you file a manila folder with a few documents in it and then voila - the next time you take them out, there are 40-50 additional sheets of usually unrelated papers.

What, you mean this might be my fault for not filing properly!? How dare you!

It's difficult for me to get organized at home the way I do when I have an office. At work I literally attack files first and foremost; before anything gets even TOUCHED, the filing is done.

And when I begin a new job, the files are the first thing I organize - by general topic, by date, alphabetically, whatever way works - and then cross-reference between, so even a complete stranger could take over my job and find what they needed to find.

However, at home... somehow I just can't get into like that. I keep random articles, forms, official notifications loosely in folders, but even when I set aside two days (yesterday and the day before, in this case) to get all the old files out, re-organize, clear and put them all in a logical, professional manner....

It just doesn't work.

So I figure I've got a couple of options.

1: Someone who randomly reads this blog feels an overhwelming pang of sympathy, perhaps as a fellow home-file-blunderer or founder of the A.A.C.F.E. (American Association of Closet File Executioners) sends me a money-order for $200,328.84 to inspire me to finally, actually clean up my home files in a professional manner (oh, hell, it was worth a shot) or

2: I feel silly enough after confessing all this that tomorrow I get up, take a shower, put on make-up, dress in a manner suitable for an office staff (even to include nylons - YUCK), drive my truck twice around the block (which for me will be a drive of three miles) to pretend that I am actually going to work, then walk in my house in my fantasy and hit the files as I really would if I was at a job.

Or 3: I sleep in tomorrow, and when I come out, I just stuff the loose files back in the same drawers and try again another year.

Hmmm... as of 22:42 hours tonight, #3 looks the most likely, doesn't it?