TERRORISM WITH FRIES

I am a law abiding citizen.

Perhaps to a fault.

I keep the speed limit, even when it's 25 mph in a residential area.

I use my turn signal even when I am turning into my driveway, which is off a dirt road, off another dirt road, off another dirt road, which is off a rural highway.


I am boring.

But the FBI must have a fairly thick file a file on me, because I order books on terrorism on-line for my husband.

I've purchased "Terrorism: Home Grown," "How To Build A Large Chemical Bomb In Your Basement," and the ever-popular "This Is How Your Socialist Government Is Corrupting Your Live And What To Do About It" - all for my husband's government security and anti-terrorism programs.

So as a normal American citizen, I do get that little knot sizing up in my stomach even when I have a completely clear conscience when I notice I am being followed by a police person.

So how about THIRTY-FIVE motorcycle cops - Pima County, AZ Bureau of Land Mngt, SWAT, Tucson and Border Patrol - who swing into the In-and-Out burger parking lot, dismount from their bikes, and then, ALL THIRTY-FIVE walk into the restaurant directly behind me?


In and Out has a pretty fast system, but I felt as if I was being looked at with radar eyes, the hot lamps blurring everything else in the room - they were gonna break me, and it didn't matter how hard I was, they were gonna find that clink and keep at me until I would scream in confession, "ALRIGHT! BOBBY MUNDZZEE WAS THERE! HE KILLED THAT GUY!!!"

Thanks goodness I got out with my burger and fries before I got to that point, and would have to admit that I don't know anyone named Bobby Mundzzee (good name, though, right?).