Saturday, July 26, 2008


I have some remaining baby fat around my middle - from my last baby - who is now 24 years old. When they removed my uterus a few years ago, I tried to talk them into combining it with some sort of liposuction around that area, but the surgeon wouldn't buy it (I think they get paid more when it's actually liposuction, not just a hysterectomy).

And I rarely (if ever) do ab work. I'm pretty good at doing aerobic (like the elliptical - I'm up to 25 minutes now), and I love lifting weights (that is, if it's a machine that I already like and especially anything with shoulders - I have awesome shoulders), but I hate sit-ups.

I also hate using the 'ball' for ab work (I generally fall off it long before I can even get close to actually concentrating on my abs). And I hate using anything that even looks like it could be related to ab work - my stomach triggers specific muscles in my legs and force me to walk away.

Have I stressed this point enough to go on?

Okay, so here's the weird part - two days ago a section of my flabby midsection sort of... left.

I haven't done anything additional, I am still eating like a pig (healthy stuff, but as usual, too much of it), and I certainly have not done anything to strength my flabby gut.

But two days as I was buttoning up my classic jeans, I realized that I could (and if this isn't one of the most humiliating things that could be admitted on the Internet, I don't know what is) TUCK IN MY SHIRT, and NOT be embarrassed by the overhanging flab that I would hastily un-tuck the shirt and slink off into the shadows.

Possible explanations?

1. A ten lbs. kidney stone that somehow was passed without me ever noticing (probability - zero)

2. My lungs, which are already one-third the size of a normal person's, have shrunk even more, leaving room for my stomach to be sucked up into the chest cavity and less in the mid-section (probability - less than zero)

3. Pure fluke that will never be repeated and has nothing to with my abs (probability - pretty good).

Stay tuned - let's see if any of this dream remains for another day.