Friday, June 13, 2008


... why I have kept that California-King-Size-Water-Bed all these years.... BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A PAIN TO TAKE DOWN/UNLOAD/EMPTY.

I have discovered four separate & distinct civilizations that has risen and fallen under this bed. Two new animal species have been documented by the Bureau of Wild Animal Preservation, while a certain weed unearthed may cause egg damage to the Upper Basin San Pedro Wokee Wokee bird but only when ingested with more than 1 liter of Diet Mt. Dew.

The water level in the aforementioned Upper Basin San Pedro River system has risen .000078% through the emptying of ten water tubes.

An appropriate space of 2.34 acres is now available in my bedroom for exercise equipment, piles of dirty laundry that needs to be sorted, and two dogs to sleep on. However, that appropriate space of 2.34 acres has also been LOST for hiding old books, blankets my mother-in-law has knitted and crocheted and I cannot throw away, and the aforementioned wildlife and emerging civilizations to grow and develop.

I now await the arrival of two large, sweating males to upset both my dogs, take away the large bed, and set up my new tiny little nesting bed. In the process, I will lose 95% of the cool air-conditioned atmosphere inside, inherit 43 flies, two bees, and three tiny lizards, and have a second mess to cleanup when the certain-to-be dirty boots leave my abode.

A follow-up report will be posted this evening.