Thursday, June 24, 2010


I am feeling a great sense of peace and relief because I have (once again) moved into a realm of assent and acquiesce by acceptance of reality.


I hate acknowledging things which are NOT going to change no matter how much I detest, resent and despise them.

Because, like most of us, I waste so much time and energy wishing that something was not what it is, waiting for it to become some else, and worrying about why it doesn't.

And today I came to terms with a couple of things.

First the new ones:

- In order to cope with dirt from two dogs coming in and out all day, my son's greasy boots from his employment (which he 'forgets' to remove) and my own residue  I myself track in every couple hours after going out to visit with Najale and Sally, I hereby recognize and acknowledge that I will sweep, mop and spot clean my (thankfully) very small kitchen floor at least once if not twice each day.

- A similar surrender to vacuuming the carpet (which is every square inch of floor that is NOT in the very small kitchen) at least once and probably twice every single day. I live where dust is simply part of your minute-to-minute existence,

And the old ones that I keep having to relearn and relearn and relearn.

- I am not a bad person, and I do not intentionally hurt people. And when people surrounding me repeatedly smash their heads into brick walls, I am not responsible for their bruises and cuts, no matter how much they blame me.

- Eating when you are depressed helps nothing other than weight gain. Tonight is one of those that if I had a ten-gallon container of ice-cream in the freezer, I am certain I would have devoured the entire thing by now.

- No matter how much you doubt it, things will always feel better in the morning.

Unless, of course, you are drunk, which means it will be much, much worse in the morning.