Monday, January 31, 2011

GREAT BALLS OF FIRE


Freud alone can be held responsible for the death of about 1,822 trees by publishing such a prodigious number of psychiatric papers/books specifically about men's sexual organs.

Freud's views have been called "phallocentric" for it seems men already had the phobia of losing their 'manhood' as a recurring nightmare back in the late 1880's

No, wait a moment - nightmare is too gentle a word - for the sheer TERROR of somehow being separated from their male... anatomy (sometimes known affectionately as "George," "Chuck," or "Tootsie").


Freud insisted that these 'fears' came from deeply repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse and men's fear of castration.

He even declared there was a female fear of castration, "penis envy", by the following convoluted logic (care of Wikipedia, the source of all quick albeit not always accurate information online):

- A girl develops a sexual impulses towards her mother, but realizes that she is not physically equipped since she does not have a penis.
- She desires a penis, and the power that it represents and wishes to obtain her father’s penis.
- The girl blames her mother for her apparent castration
- Sexual desire for her father leads to the desire to replace and eliminate her mother.
- The girl identifies with her mother so that she might learn to mimic her, and thus replace her.
- The girl employs the defence mechanism of displacement to shift the object of her sexual desires from her father to men in general.


And I'm certain that since all men have such a, er, intimate relationship with their penises, they naturally assume that women must be incredibly envious of not having one.

Really, guys?

All of this was brought forcibly to mind as I helped my vet in the gelding of Samuel, a young but obviously potent stallion who fathered the little colt, Roo.



Now, is gelding too strong a word, guys? Castration gets the point across, but also makes every man I knew wince and pale more than slightly.

It's a fairly simple procedure, so just take a look at this fun video from eHow (another great source) with Mike Rowe, the guy from Dirty Jobs - I'm the lady at the head of the horse (hmm, perhaps a poor choice of words there):

You just open the scrotum with the scalpel so that you can clearly see the testicles, then remove them with the emasculator. 



Okay, how many of you men will admit to have just gotten up off the floor after fainting?

1 comments:

Susan Clay said...

That would be me on the floor if I had to watch that.