ISN'T DISNEYLAND A PEOPLE TRAP OPERATED BY A MOUSE?

I can no longer make fun of my dog, Sofi.

Sofi reminds me of Goofy. Her tail can cause serious damage to concrete. Her cold, wet nose is guaranteed to make contact with whatever part of warm skin you would most like to keep dry.

She has a rather disjointed run - a little bit like her fronts legs are at a trot, but her back legs are at a gallop. And she needs constant reassurance that she is loved - to the point where she will chase the greyhound and the cat away when they are trying to get my attention.

But late this afternoon, she alerted me to a rattlesnake, which was just where I would have stepped on it if she had not freaked out at it. 

 

Suddenly she does not seem that silly of a dog.

FILTH, SLIME, PUTRESCENCE

I am proud and happy to live in a dirt road.

Of course, there are certain disadvantages to this.

You end up spending more on tires than someone who drives normally on paved roads home.

My speed is sharply reduced on the last two miles home by water-holes, bumps, rattlesnakes, jackrabbits, roadrunners, and my self-imposed rule that I do not allow my truck to raise any dust, which sometimes in dusty Arizona keeps me at a literal crawl.

And I must share at least .75 miles of dirt road with approximately 83.2 other people.

Who do not all abide by the same driving limits that I put on myself.

The logic held by many of these fellow dirt-road-drivers it that if you simply just drive fast enough, you fly over the bumps, ruts and living breathing animals crossing the road.

This type of driving, however, beats the hell out of the road.

Which led to the first meeting tonight of the Neighbors for Improved Roads (N.I.R.).

This is not a new subject, and in the not-quite 10 years I have lived on this particular dirt road, this is the fourth organized group formed to conquer the problem.

Many familiar complaints were brought up - why doesn't the county/state take care of this road (because it is all privately owned land, not part of a development which would then be required to construct roads which would then be eligible to county maintenance) - how are we going to change anything (by individually contributing monies towards construction of a maintainable type of road).

And then my favorite - "But not everyone is here at this meeting; are we going to end up paying for them and how can we get them to cough the money up for this project?"

I then raised my hand, and very firmly stated, "Let's all just be adults and move forward with this project instead of getting into a prolonged pissing contest about who does and doesn't help out."

I received a rousing round of applause.

ABOLISH ATVs!

We all have our personal albeit unreasonable prejudices.

I hate peanuts - but I adore peanut butter (creamy - Jiff - particulary on toast).

I am certain that television is leading the downfall of western civilization - but I am also addicted to The Office, NCIS, Eli Stone, Castle and am embarrassed to but will admit I will watch ANY movie which I already have on DVD and/or VHS.

And I absolutely DETEST all-terrain vehicles.

However, I am fully aware of how much fun they are - I used to ride my brother's motorcycle on what in L.A. passed for dirt-bike paths (i.e. Arroyo Seco canyon and the still-in-development section of the Monterey Hills housing area).

Living out on dirt roads far enough off pavement to be are considered prime dirt-bike/ATV has cemented (no pun intended there) my abhorrence of all recreational vehicles because:

1) They raise the dust. Which is Southern Arizona is already totally unreasonable without any additional help - dusting twice a day would be required by any demanding homemaker (which, thankfully, I am not).

2) They frighten the animals - the 3,022,467 rabbits which inhabit my back yard alone, native birds (such as the Glided Flicker, the Black-Headed Grosbeck, and the Thrasher - which honestly are the correct names), and tarantulas, rattlesnakes...

AND (most importantly) HORSES.

Well, most horses.

Actually, some horses.

But not mine.

Sally has is utterly fearless ... except of being seperated from Najale.

And Najale has no trepidation about anything at all... except the crinkling of feed bags, which throw him into an entire panic.

So tonight, as I was letting the horses graze on the neighbor's mowed lawns (keeps their mowing efforts down) right at twilight, when an ATV came thundering down the road right next to us, I felt completely and entirely justified in feeling the utmost rage.

Until the couple riding the ATV, upon spotting the horses and myself, politely, courteously and immediately SLOWED down, crawled past taking special care not to startle the horses, and even called out, "What beautiful horses you have!"

Rats.

Now I have to remove the bumper sticker, don't I?