"I WROTE A FEW CHILDREN'S BOOK.... NOT ON PURPOSE" - STEPHEN WRIGHT

My life is an open book - very similiar to the intellectual level of the children's books by Sandra Boynton.

Many individuals manage to remain aloof, mysterious, reserved - you cannot tell what they are thinking or feeling.

I, however, am the type of person who shares confidential medical information with the next person in the grocery store line.

So I should not be surprised my family knows me as well as they do.

My oldest daughter in particular.

Especially after spening a year together raising a three-year old, a newborn, and a whole group of young women ages 12 to 16 in Chula Vista.

She got me this for Christmas - I'm gonna read it tonight.

ABOLISH ATVs!

We all have our personal albeit unreasonable prejudices.

I hate peanuts - but I adore peanut butter (creamy - Jiff - particulary on toast).

I am certain that television is leading the downfall of western civilization - but I am also addicted to The Office, NCIS, Eli Stone, Castle and am embarrassed to but will admit I will watch ANY movie which I already have on DVD and/or VHS.

And I absolutely DETEST all-terrain vehicles.

However, I am fully aware of how much fun they are - I used to ride my brother's motorcycle on what in L.A. passed for dirt-bike paths (i.e. Arroyo Seco canyon and the still-in-development section of the Monterey Hills housing area).

Living out on dirt roads far enough off pavement to be are considered prime dirt-bike/ATV has cemented (no pun intended there) my abhorrence of all recreational vehicles because:

1) They raise the dust. Which is Southern Arizona is already totally unreasonable without any additional help - dusting twice a day would be required by any demanding homemaker (which, thankfully, I am not).

2) They frighten the animals - the 3,022,467 rabbits which inhabit my back yard alone, native birds (such as the Glided Flicker, the Black-Headed Grosbeck, and the Thrasher - which honestly are the correct names), and tarantulas, rattlesnakes...

AND (most importantly) HORSES.

Well, most horses.

Actually, some horses.

But not mine.

Sally has is utterly fearless ... except of being seperated from Najale.

And Najale has no trepidation about anything at all... except the crinkling of feed bags, which throw him into an entire panic.

So tonight, as I was letting the horses graze on the neighbor's mowed lawns (keeps their mowing efforts down) right at twilight, when an ATV came thundering down the road right next to us, I felt completely and entirely justified in feeling the utmost rage.

Until the couple riding the ATV, upon spotting the horses and myself, politely, courteously and immediately SLOWED down, crawled past taking special care not to startle the horses, and even called out, "What beautiful horses you have!"

Rats.

Now I have to remove the bumper sticker, don't I?