GOD DOESN'T ANSWER THE WAY I WANT HIM TO

I have had a less-than-perfect day, and 99% of that inperfection has been manufactured by my thinking. I have to deal with more than one depressed person, and some days it is, well, depressing. Mornings are almost always very cheerful times for me (well, if I get my normal 9-10 hours of drugged sleep), but about this time of day, my stomach begins to churn just because of negative apprehension.My MOST depressed person will come home, exhausted and 'in an office mood' which means mainly that I need to leave him alone for an hour or so - and then the rest of the evening is tip-toeing verbally so nothing can be interpretted (sp?) as a threat /criticism / looking-for-a-fight.
SO when I get a reminder email about driving to Phoenix tomorrow - my first thought is, oh, no, not a four hour drive, a four hour stay, and then four hours back.
It took a little bit of time (I'm slow, I know it) to sink in that this will be four hours up with cheerful, happy group of women. It will be at least a meal together up there - with the same happy group. (I'll probably sleep on the way home). And I NEED that (the positive people, not the sleep) more than anything.
I think Heavenly Father slaps his head a lot at our stupidity - I, at least, expected someone cheerful and happy to simply show up outside my door.
We learn from our mistakes.... at least I do again.... and then again.... and then the same mistake AGAIN.