Friday, January 23, 2009

DAY THREE

0530 - Awakened by clock-radio set to annoying AM talk station.
0531 - Radio thrown out window.
0545 - Discovered solar heater doesn't hold heat through night.
0600 - Awoke grandson. Awoke granddaughter.
0602 - Awoke grandson again.
0605 - Dressed both grandchildren.
0614 - Discovered breakfast cereal on floor instead of mouths.
0615 - Changed clothing of granddaughter; cereal not on floor on shirt.

0635 - Began to herd grandchildren out to van.
0655 - Buckled in both grandchildren. Began commute to kindergarten.
0705 - Traveled 2.4 miles. Memorizing major sections of the DVD "Cars".
0725 - Approached entrance to H1 while leads into Honolulu.
0735 - Began driving on H1 into Honolulu.
0750 - Arrived at school and dropped off grandson.

1630 - Began preparations for dinner.
1631 - Toy soldiers scattered through kitchen.
1632 - Organized toy pick-up time for grandchildren to take care of.
1720 - Picked up toy soldiers by self.
1721 - Began preparations for dinner.
1722 - Discovered box of macaroni and cheese missing.
1738 - Discovered box in toy solider container.
1740 - Ordered home delivery for pizza.

1900 - Began bath preparations for children.
1901 - Granddaughter hysterical - tropical breeze from bathroom window.
1902 - Granddaughter hysterical - bath water too hot.
1903 - Granddaughter hysterical - breeze meeting wet body removed from hot bath.
1908 - Grandson bodily removed - Weeble-Wobble thrown at younger sibling.
1909 - 2.8 gallons water dumped on floor in process.
1913 - Grandson returned to bath water after lecture on harm to siblings.
1914 - Changed own soaked clothing.
1930 - Grandson shampooed own hair under direct supervision.
1935 - Granddaughter hysterical about having hair shampooed.
1958 - 5 towels used to dry children, and 6 to mop up floor.
1959 - Debating possible intake of whiskey.

2035 - Popped popcorn, allowed children to watch "Madagascar" for 15 minutes.
2050 - Got vacuum cleaner to deal with scattered kernels.
2052 - Granddaughter hysterical at sight of vacuum cleaner.
2053 - Hid in laundry room for later use.

2107 - Both children in bed.
2108 - Began conversation with vacationing daughter.
2109 - Stopped conversation to check on crying granddaughter.
2110 - Administered ice pack to bruised bridge nose/upper cheek.
2153 - Sang "Mockingbird" song 128 times while rocking with ice pack to eye and suffering major guilt trip.
2154 - Unable to determine cause of injury -crib bars, toy truck, or Play-Dough toy
2155 - Major guilt trip for not detecting objects in crib.
2154 - Called vacationing daughter to admit granddaughter may have first black eye while under grandmother's care.
2200 - Collapsed into bed after mindlessly writing blog report.

Whiskey idea rejected, replaced by Diet Coke. Further report tomorrow.

2 comments:

Lisa said...

I think you would have been forgiven a shot of whiskey (or rum) in your Coke. Sweet merciful crap.

Maybe Kate and Brian have ESP . . . because holy cow Brian was on one yesterday. I'm not sure if my favorite part was the dish soap all over the kitchen cabinets, or the 1/3 loaf of bread ripped into crumbs and thrown all over the playroom. It's a toss up.

Sailing Past Maturity Straight into Senility said...

Some days the universe is off balance. People are cranky, things get broken and alcoholism begins.

(FYI - Kate looks fine this morning - no lasting effects - WHEW!)