Tuesday, November 3, 2009

MY SON, MY SON, WOULD GOD I HAD DIED FOR THEE, MY SON

My dog went to the vet's early this morning for some routine dental work.

And came home late late this evening unable to move his tongue or his back legs.

He's going to be fine - but he has had most of this teeth removed, he is still bleeding from one side of his mouth, and he is moaning with almost every breath he takes.

The feeling of deja vu for me is overwhelming.

When my daughter was six or seven, she had to have eight teeth removed surgically. And I could not convince her to take the pain medication when I brought her home - so in about two hours, she was in severe pain.

It's so difficult to see someone suffering when they have no concept of why they are in such agony.

And tonight, driving home with my dog's head in my lap, trying to comfort him and also drive a stick-shift for 21 miles, I had a spiritual insight.

This is what God feels like, most of the time.

He loves us, so completely, and continually sees us in pain, hurting, without any real idea of why we are suffering.

And He wants so much to tell us, "It's just for a moment! It's going to end really soon! It's going to be okay!" And He listens to us whimpering and moaning and wallowing, not understanding that the hurt is just temporary, it's going to leave, and we will gain something from it.

Murray will be pain-free from his teeth that have been hurting him for a long time. But he certainly doesn't understand that right now. And all my reassurances in the world aren't helping.

Heavenly Father, I'll try to be more patient next time when I am hurting, and attempt to trust You more.

1 comments:

Annette said...

What a great insight. I try to keep in mind...when faced with a trial...that there will be a blessing in there somewhere. Poor Murray doesn't know that, but he's lucky to have someone who cares!