Friday, November 5, 2010


An "egg-sucking dog" is one of those hillbilly expressions that I accepted as 'something yucky' without knowing what it refers to.

Now I know.

Sofi is a snoring overweight chocolate Labrador from the local animal shelter. Living three miles from an extremely volatile international border (at least according to every political candidate running on the "secure-the-border" theme down here), I feel slightly more comfortable with an indoor animal of, er, substance around - the greyhound is faster than the wind, but she also is an anorexic slip of a dog that slips away if a mouse challenges her.

But any animal needs some time to adjust to a household. Pandora, aka Master-Of-The-Known-Universe, is not your everyday feline, and it took more than a few seconds for Sofi to recognize and bow to his superiority.

Somehow, the bathroom is off-limits to Sofi, which I am enjoying a great deal - Murray would never request a need for privacy - "I can lick my balls in front of you, why can't you pee when I'm trying to push my snout between your legs?"

However, Sofi is incredibly well house-trained - to the point of where she will let herself become  VERY uncomfortable before she asks to be let outside.

But - back to the egg-sucking.

Yesterday my group of teenagers at church had decided to take plates of cookies and treats to several households. And in anticipation of 14 and 15 year-old girls forgetting to bring the assigned goodies, I baked some brownies and cookies Wednesday morning.

And then left my house to go work out (yeah, I get to the gym maybe, what, once a week now?), so I left some cooking supplies out - like the cookie sheets, and the eggs.

PLEASE NOTE - the eggs were INSIDE the stupid foam container they are sold in, on the counter, when I left/

And I came home to - yes, you guessed it - EGGS broken, chomped on, scattered over (of course) NOT the kitchen linoleum (where it could be easily mopped up) BUT the carpet - which, thankfully, has already been stained far beyond any reasonable amount by numerous cats, dogs, one very temporary snake, and klutzy humans such as myself.

But the scariest news of all (and I am quoting directly from is "it's too hard to drown an egg sucking dog, just haul 'em over to Somerville County and turn them out. It's probably where they come from anyhow."

Have I forced upon my poor fat dog an addiction that will never leave? Is there a support group such as ESCAPE (Egg Sucking Canines And Potential Enablers)?